I thought that the formal dating process would end with marriage, but I've noticed a phenomenon as we've been married now for 9 months. I always knew that Bryan and I would continue to date each other, but I didn't think we would have to ever go through the process of finding the right fit for us after marriage. Well, I was wrong.
I wasn't given any advice or forewarning on this as Bryan and I got married. Maybe all the married couples we know are so desensitized to it already. I think it's something that all engaged people should be aware of. It's the process of couple "dating". This process is somewhat less formal than the original dating pattern, but uses the same premises in order to be successful. When you're single, you have a group of friends and intermingle with all kinds of different people. When you're married, you have other couples over for dinners, go out to movies/theatre together, or just to a ball game. It is a different process though than making friends when you're single because both of us have to like both of the other couple in order to want to continue going out.
It feels a lot like dating again just because of that last qualifying factor. If Bryan thinks the guy is cool, but I think the girl is boring it's harder for me to want to go out again. And vice versa. I find the process a little bit ridiculous myself, but also quite funny. I never thought I would be hanging out with other people to see if they "mesh" with us as a couple. I never thought that it would be so important that they have the same interests, same sense of humor, and even are within the same realm of life that we're in.
The part that is the most humorous comes just after you've invited a couple over for such a first "date" and it was a success. You think during the week, "should we invite them over again? or is it too soon?" and "maybe we should wait to see if they invite us over" and also "do you think they had a good time? We had a good time. We hope they thought we were fun". Ridiculous? Yes. Funny? Yes. True? Yes, again. It's the same feeling you get after going on a first date. The whole process just strikes me as hilarious.
We're growing accustomed to this process although I wish someone would've let us know beforehand. Oh well. At least I'm forewarning those who may be next!
2 comments:
Ha! That's funny and so true! When we dropped you guys off Mark said something about it being a couple date. We both had a blast at the game and I meant to write you a cuter note to thank you for inviting us but this will do! Oh and Mark says there's a Real Soccer game near the end of June if you guys want to go. :)
(another side note...Mark made fun of me for like a week for dancing during the "songs" at the game)
This cracked me up and it's something I never really labeled. You did a great job and it is scary how much it really is that way. I feel like an old timer though. Stan and I will get to do this again as we just moved to a new community, ward and stake! We'll let you know how it goes.
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