This morning was a rough one for me pregnancy-wise. I woke up very tired, sore, and emotional. I took a shower and took a short nap before I had to get ready for 11 am church in the hopes that it would help to fix my sour mood, but it didn't really and I got ready and went with Bryan to church.
During this pregnancy so far I have felt like this is something that I can handle and that things in my body were changing, yes, but that they were things that weren't much more than an annoyance. I've kept my spirits up and have enjoyed every Dr. visits, hearing baby girl's heart beat, and feeling her rambunctious movements in my belly. But today my spirits were low as I thought: pregnancy is hard! It is hard to deal with all the changes and especially as she is growing SO rapidly now and I am having more side effects like swelling and heartburn. Today I was asking myself and Heavenly Father: how am I going to handle the next 9 weeks? It's just going to get harder from here and Labor and Delivery is well on its way.
So, this was my state of mind going into church today. I did, however, kneel down and pray to get out of my bad attitude and that I would be able to meet new people at church. I was still very exhausted, but decided that I needed church today more than ever. Amanda, who lives two town homes over from us with her husband and daughter, gave a talk today on Faith. She talked about how she was blessed with her first little girl and then a year later her and her husband decided it was time to have another baby. She got pregnant soon after, but miscarried within a few months. Then again that fall they tried again, got pregnant, and miscarried a second time. They tried another time just this winter, got pregnant, and miscarried for a third time and this time she was hospitalized for complications. All through her talk and her experiences she talked about how she prayed and kept faith. God told her everything would be okay. She talked about the scripture in Alma that says that if you even have just a desire to have faith that it is a good starting point for building faith in Christ.
This talk hit me (and I was crying my eyes out during church!) because I realized that in all my thoughts this morning I was lacking in Faith. I was thinking of finishing this pregnancy alone and how hard it would be for ME to do it and deal with all the changes. I neglected to remember that I have been provided with a Savior who understands all the joys and sorrows I am feeling. It was the perfect reminder today that I need to have faith that God does have a plan for our little family and that He never wants us to feel alone in ANYTHING we do.
I am grateful for Amanda's willingness to share such personal and sorrowful experiences in order to show how faith can lead us out of even our darkest moments. I am grateful for a small answer to my prayer today that helped me to realign my perspective and realize how blessed I am for little baby girl. I truly can do all things through my Savior Jesus Christ!
5 comments:
It's always such a testimony builder to have prayers answered and it sounds like that's just what you needed to hear. I think along with faith, you have to remember what a miracle and blessing it is to be pregnant and give this little girl a body and a good, strong family. Just remember back, not so long ago, when you would have given anything to be pregnant. 9 months is so short in the big scheme of things and there are so many, like Amanda, who would give anything to be in your shoes.
Yeah I totally agree, Melissa! This really put things into the proper perspective for me and I realize how blessed we are, above all else, to have this little girl!
Lindsay. You have such a strong testimony. I loved reading this post because even as a mom you have times when you are down. Satan is always trying to get in you head to make you feel like you can't do it. Pregnancy is so hard and there is nothing wrong with having bad days. It just happens. Especially at the end. It's so you are even more ready to get that baby out! You're doing great!
Thanks for sharing that. I've had a really yucky week and that helped me remember to put things into perspective.
Linds, go to my blog, scroll down to my list of family friends, and then click on "Lauri."
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